I’m Pregnant, You’re An Asshole

 

Being pregnant is hard enough, read on for some friendly etiquette and tips to take note of while chatting with a pregnant friend. You’ll both thank us later!!

 

What not to say: WOW! You are so big!

Why? That comment stops being cute around 2nd grade. A pregnant mom is already quite aware she is growing a tiny human no need to point out her healthy bump!

Instead: You’ve never looked so happy and healthy! I’m so excited for you.

 

What not to say: Are you sure there’s not twins in there?

Why? Yes, I’m very sure, and if it was you would be saying, “ Are you sure it’s not triplets?” Your opinions are better left at home.

Instead: Gosh, that adorable bump looks great on you!

 

What not to say: You’re belly is so little! Is baby healthy?

Why? Pregnant moms have enough to worry about with what color to paint the nursery, scheduling their next appointment and so on. Filling her thoughts with “what if’s” isn’t helpful. All pregnancies are different and all moms-to-be carry their bundles differently.

Instead: Pregnancy sure looks great on you!

 

Fast forward to you 41 weeks pregnant, What not to say: Are you ready? Done waiting?

Why?( Look past the evil glare) this is common sense, yes she is ready! She has been ready, she cannot wait and, in labor, that comment might even get something thrown at you.

Instead: I bet your little one is just excited to meet you as you are to meet her! Keep up the great work mommy!

 

What not to say: Why haven’t you been induced yet?

Why? It’s not your birth, and you are not a medical provider so leave that choice up to the couple and their doctor.

Instead: You’re doing such a good job waiting on that little bundle, you’re going to make such a good mama!

 

What not to say: So, when are you having the next one?

Why? Think about it. She just gave birth and as a family they are learning their new norm. Or what if you’re talking to a friend with an older baby/toddler and this family has been trying for months or years already? What if they have suffered a miscarriage, but just aren’t ready to talk about it? When they are ready to expand their family, trust me they will fill you in when they are ready to.

Instead: You have such a beautiful family and you’re a really great mom ready!

 

What not to say:

Oh good, you’ve got one of each. That’s a perfect family, now you can stop having kids

Another boy? Hope you drink wine and have great insurance!

Another girl? Yikes, that’s a lot of hormones- just wait until they are teenagers!

Why? Gender disapointment is a real thing, others are happy with whatever they are blessed with, but some parents may already feel anxious or disappointed.

Instead: They will be great friends one day!

Coworker

While we’re at it, here are some comments to avoid saying to a pregnant co-worker…

Wow! You are still here!

You didn’t have the baby yet?

Wanna hear about my horrific birth?

Natural- you are crazy! Honey, take the drugs!

You want an epidural? Oh, I did it the old fashion way.

 

And, of course, some great things to say to a pregnant co-worker…

Glad to see you today!

I’m so excited for you!

Have you heard of a doula? ( you know we needed to put that somewhere)

I can’t wait to bring you a hot meal once baby is here.

Let’s go get a pedi- my treat!

 

Up next: things not to say to a new mother……here’s a tip- you look tired…..

 

By Emily Jacobson